How to Increase Your Self-Value and Feel Confident in Yourself in 2023?
5 Min Read
In This Article:
- Self-value: what are they?
- What makes Self-Value so important?
- Can self-awareness be regarded as a self-value?
- In what ways do you value yourself?
- A Self-value System.
- How to Overcome Negative Thoughts and Develop Positive Thinking Habits to improve your Self Value?
- The Benefits of Practicing Self-Care & How it Can Help You Increase Your Self-Value?
- Strategies for Setting Healthy Boundaries & Taking Control of Your Life
- From the Editor: A final note.
In 2023, you may feel more self-aware than usual. During the first few weeks, your entire focus might be on yourself before procrastination kicks in and sets the lazy tone for your focus and yourself.
Throughout this article, you will be reminded of your own worth, as well as be motivated to keep a high level of motivation.
It is most likely that you have heard of the multitude of words that contain the word "self".
There are many aspects of self-value, including self-esteem, self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-respect, self-confidence, self-love, and self-care.
Various words can describe our thoughts, feelings, and actions toward ourselves. It may seem they are all blending together for you, but they are actually different concepts designed to accomplish different goals.
How can self-value be defined?
People's self-values are the values, principles, and beliefs they hold dear in their lives. A variety of areas can be related to them, such as personal growth, career development, relationships, and so on, and they are the foundation for the choices and actions we take.
Essentially, self-values are your personal values. In order to define yourself as a unique human being, you need to have values that help you create your personality, give you an understanding, and provide you with a significant thought process that allows you to evaluate situations, things, and thoughts in your very own unique way.
The values that you hold dear to yourself are integral to who you are, which means they are a part of everything you do and how you think.
Values of Self are also called self-worth, self-esteem, etc.
In order to feel worthy and valuable, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied to our view of ourselves.
In the self-worth theory, the main priority of an individual is to find self-acceptance, and self-acceptance is often found through achievement (Covington & Beery, 1976).
Thus, the logical conclusion is that competing with others can help us feel like we have impressive achievements under our belt, which then makes us feel proud of ourselves and enhances our acceptance of ourselves.
Self-worth theory consists of four main elements:
- Having the ability;
- Amount of effort;
- Achieving performance;
- Sense of self-worth.
As one's ability, effort, and value interact, one's overall sense of value is also determined. This means that one's ability and effort influence one's level of self-worth.
It is unfortunate that we place so much emphasis on our achievements, even though this theory provides a good understanding of self-worth as we often perceive it. In addition to competing and winning against others, our sense of self-worth can be affected by a variety of factors.
Why is Self-Value important?
It is important to have self-values because they enable us to lead fulfilling and meaningful life. By aligning our actions with our values, we feel a sense of purpose and direction in our lives. In addition to helping us make difficult decisions, self-values can also serve as a set of guiding principles to use when faced with challenging situations.
Low-self-esteemed people tend to base their self-worth on one aspect of their lives, usually relationships.
When you are in a relationship, it is natural to feel good about yourself because of someone else's love for you. However, whether you're in a relationship or not, you should work on feeling great about yourself regardless of your relationship status.
As a person, you are not defined by the love of another person, nor are you defined by the value of another person. In spite of your status, you deserve love and respect, and you should practice self-acceptance and self-compassion regardless of whether you're single, casually seeing people, building a solid relationship, or celebrating your 30th wedding anniversary.
For long-term couples, this may be particularly important, as it goes for people of all relationship statuses.
Do not think that love from your partner is enough to make you worthy of it. You don’t want to have to rebuild your sense of worth from scratch if anything happens to your partner or your relationship. Grief and breakups can be much more difficult than they should be because of it.
Having a healthy sense of self-worth will actually benefit your current relationship, too. This fact might be enough to convince you to work on your self-worth, but there is another reason: You'll be able to enjoy your current relationship more when you have a healthy sense of self-worth.
In order to love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself first. Because they know that they need to find their worth, esteem, and happiness within, individuals who have a high level of self-respect tend to have more fulfilling, loving, and stable relationships.
The light of two people with self-worth and happiness radiates far more brightly than the light of two people absorbing each other's light (Grande, 2018).
Is self-awareness a self-value?
Having self-awareness means being able to recognize the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of oneself. Despite the fact that self-awareness is not necessarily a value in and of itself, it is a crucial component of personal development and growth, and it is closely related to self-values as well.
By developing a strong sense of self-awareness, we will be able to better understand our own motivations, desires, and beliefs, which will enable us to align our actions with our values.
How to practice self-value?
Having self-awareness means being able to recognize the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of oneself. Despite the fact that self-awareness is not necessarily a value in and of itself, it is a crucial component of personal development and growth, and it is closely related to self-values as well. By developing a strong sense of self-awareness, we will be able to better understand our own motivations, desires, and beliefs, which will enable us to align our actions with our values.
A person who values themselves needs to identify their own self-values first and then align their actions with those values. In order to achieve this, you must set goals aligned with your values, seek out opportunities aligned with your values, and make choices that reflect them. You can also practice kindness and compassion towards yourself, as well as take care of your emotional and physical well-being.
Here are five steps to boost Your Self-Value and Feel More Confident
- It's important to identify negative thoughts and challenge their validity because negative thoughts can lower self-value. Try to reframe negative thoughts in a more positive light when they come to you, and ask yourself if they're based on facts or just assumptions.
- Achieving small goals boosts your self-esteem and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Make realistic goals and make a plan to reach them.
- Maintaining self-value starts with taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and engage in activities that make you happy.
- You can boost your self-value by hanging out with positive people. Find people who believe in you and encourage you.
- It's important to accept and embrace your imperfections. Everyone has flaws, but when you recognize them and accept them, you'll feel more compassionate.
It takes time and practice to build self-value, but if you follow these steps, you can take the first step to feel more confident and secure.
Boosting your sense of self-worth and valuing yourself the way you deserve is possible if you treat yourself as the wonderful, full human being you are, deserving of all the love and respect you deserve.
There are five exercises that Adam Sicinski lays out in five stages to help you develop and maintain your self-worth. There is no need to keep them in strict order. It's fine to move from one stage to the next.
Here is a more in-depth explanation of these exercises.
Improve your self-awareness
Developing self-understanding is a key step on the road to self-worth. You need to figure out who you are and what you want before you can decide you are worthy.
To increase your self-awareness, Sicinski recommends this simple thought experiment:
Imagine losing everything you have (possessions, relationships, friendships, status, job/career, accomplishments, etc. );
Take a moment to ask yourself:
- If everything I own were suddenly taken away from me, what would I do?
- If all I had left was myself, what would I do?
- If I had something valuable, what would it be?
If you think about the answers you gave to these questions, you might come to the conclusion: "No matter what happens externally, I am not affected internally";
The next step is to get to know yourself better by asking these questions:
- How do I define myself? Who am I? Who am I not?
- What is my state of mind?
- What is the state of my life?
- What do others think of me?
- What are others saying about me?
- Who am I today as a result of key life moments?
- Is there something that gives me the greatest sense of fulfillment, joy, and passion?
Once you have a good understanding of who you are and what makes you happy, ask yourself the following questions:
- What are my biggest struggles?
- In what areas do I need to improve?
- How do I overcome my fears?
- Is there an emotion that hurts me habitually?
- What are my most common mistakes?
- In what areas do I consistently fail to meet my own expectations?
Lastly, take a moment to consider the other side; ask yourself:
- What are my strengths?
- What do I excel at?
Don't rush through each step, but spend some time on the steps that remind you of your worth as a person (e.g., your strengths).
Improve your self-esteem
You will be able to enhance your acceptance of yourself once you have a better understanding of who you are.
Make a commitment to forgiving yourself without judgment for any struggles, needs for improvement, mistakes, and bad habits you noted above. Forgive yourself without judgment and accept yourself without making excuses.
In your mind, repeat these statements based on what you learned in the first exercise:
- I accept what's good, what's bad, and what's ugly;
- In full acceptance of myself, I accept flaws, fears, behaviors, and qualities I may not like too much;
- It's how I am, and I'm at peace with it
Develop a sense of self-love
It is now time for you to extend kindness, tolerance, generosity, and compassion to yourself. Once you have accepted yourself as you are, you can begin to build love and care for yourself.
Try speaking more positively and upliftingly to yourself to boost self-love.
The following simple statements can help you begin:
- I feel valued and special;
- My whole heart is filled with love for myself;
- As a person, I am capable and worthy (Sicinski, n.d.).
Embrace your self-worth
Understanding, accepting, and loving yourself will allow you to stop relying on people, accomplishments, or other external factors for your self-worth.
Embrace your worth, appreciate what you've accomplished, and continue to maintain your self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-worth at this point.
Remind yourself of your self-worth by remembering:
- It is no longer necessary to please others;
- You alone are responsible for how you feel about yourself regardless of what others do or say;
- It is within your power to respond to events and circumstances based on your own internal sources, resources, and resourcefulness, which are a reflection of your true value;
- You are valuable because you measure yourself internally.
Be responsible for your actions
The goal of this stage is to practice taking responsibility for yourself, your circumstances, and your problems.
To ensure healthy progress on this exercise, follow these guidelines:
- Ensure that you take full responsibility for everything that happens to you without giving up any power or agency;
- Recognize that you can influence the events and circumstances of your life by changing them.
Maintain your feeling of self-worth by remembering what you've learned through all these exercises. Recall what you've learned and know you hold the power in your life.
The Benefits of Practicing Self-Care & How it Can Help You Increase Your Self-Value?
Practicing self-care can have a variety of benefits for overall well-being, including:
- Improving physical health: Self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep can improve physical health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases.
- Managing stress: Self-care activities such as yoga, meditation, and journaling can help to reduce stress and improve mental health.
- Boosting self-esteem: When we take care of ourselves, we can feel better about ourselves, which can increase self-esteem and self-value.
- Improving relationships: Self-care can also help to improve relationships by reducing stress and improving communication.
- Increasing productivity: When we take care of ourselves, we can feel more energized and focused, which can increase productivity and improve performance.
Some examples of self-care activities include:
- Exercising regularly
- Eating a healthy diet
- Getting enough sleep
- Meditating or practicing yoga
- Reading a book
- Taking a relaxing bath
- Spending time in nature
- Listening to music
- Practicing journaling
By taking the time to practice self-care, you are showing yourself that you are worth the investment and care, which can help to increase your self-value. Remember that self-care looks different for everyone, so it's important to find activities that work for you and make them a regular part of your routine.
Final Note from the Editor.
To conclude, self-value is an important aspect of overall well-being, and it can be improved through various strategies such as identifying and challenging negative thoughts, setting and achieving small goals, practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with positive people, and learning to accept and embrace your imperfections. Additionally, setting healthy boundaries and taking control of your life can also help to increase self-value.
It's important to remember that building self-value takes time and practice and that it's an ongoing process. It's also important to be kind and compassionate with yourself and to remember that setbacks and mistakes are a normal part of the process.
Starting today, make an effort to incorporate the above-mentioned strategies into your daily life and you will begin to see an improvement in your self-value, which will lead to increased self-esteem, self-confidence, and overall well-being. Remember to take it one step at a time and be patient with yourself. It's a journey, not a destination.
Self-values are an important part of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. It is possible to develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-confidence by identifying your values and aligning your actions with them. You can make choices that are aligned with your values when you engage in regular self-reflection.
Having a normal, healthy sense of self-worth is important for both researchers and laymen alike, and it's crucial that we can identify, build, and maintain it.
Being happy and fulfilled as your authentic, loveable self can be learned by learning about self-worth.
In your opinion, what is the most important takeaway from this research? Is a lack of self-value an issue or is an excess of self-worth more problematic today? Let us know in the comments.
I hope this article enlightened and motivated you to understand and improve your Self-Value in 2023.
- Bogee, Jr., L. (1998). Leadership through personal awareness. The University of Hawaii.
- Clark-Jones, T. (2012). The importance of helping teens discover self-worth. Michigan State University – MSU Extension.
- Covington, M. V., & Beery, R. G. (1976). Self-worth and school learning. Oxford, UK: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
- Crocker, J., Luhtanen, R. K., Cooper, M. L., & Bouvrette, A. (2003). Contingencies of self-worth in college students: Theory and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 894–908.
- Firestone, L. (2014). Essential tips for building true self-worth. Psych Alive.
- Grande, D. (2018). Building self-esteem and improving relationships. Psychology Today.
- Hibbert, C. (2013). Self-esteem vs. self-worth. Dr. Christina Hibbert.
- Morin, A. (2017). How do you measure your self-worth? Psychology Today.
- Roberts, E. (2012). The difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. Healthy Place.
- Sicinski, A. (n.d.). How to build self-worth and start believing in yourself again.
- Stosny, S. (2014). How much do you value yourself? Psychology Today.
- Wong, S. J. (n.d.). 13 things that don’t determine your self-worth. Shine.
About The Author
Our writer, Huda Chougle is fascinated by homemaking through experiences and how homemakers can maximize their potential. As a homemaker and parent, and a self-development enthusiast, her work always remains true to the science beneath it.
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